Case Study: Family , , What to do if your daughter or son is enthusiastic about Islamism?

When a teenager turns to Islamist circles, even as a parent you sometimes notice it too late. In the beginning, Büsra's* mother only noticed that her daughter seemed dissatisfied. The girl's best friend came to visit less and less often, and Büsra, who always used to speak at length about school and her circle of friends, became unusually quiet. She spent more and more time in her room in front of the computer and seemed to avoid talking to her parents.

Büsra tries to convert her parents

Then the "sermons" began. That is what Büsra's father called her monologues about Islam. About the Holy War and the great struggle of Muslims against Western oppression. Every objection from her Muslim father seemed to bounce off Büsra. Her mother had "no idea anyway" – as a Christian she was an unbeliever and should finally understand that the only chance to save her soul was Islam. And indeed the true Islam of her new friends she had met online. Not what her father practised. He wasn't even allowed to call himself a Muslim.
Her mother looked at Büsra as she sat there at the dining table and spoke, full of rage. What had happened to her daughter? To the Büsra who laughed so much, who was open-minded and curious?

Faith or extremism?

Worst of all was the fear. This overwhelming concern that her daughter might slip into the Islamist scene. Was this still faith or already extremism? What could she do? All attempts to talk to her daughter failed. Every conversation ended in mutual accusations, and Büsra withdrew more and more. She only took off her headscarf when she was at home.

Concern for her daughter grows

Eventually, Büsra's mother realised that she couldn't go on like this. With the worry, the helplessness, all the questions. She needed help from someone who knew about extremism and radical Islamism. She found the phone number of the Advice Centre on Radicalisation on the Internet. It took her a lot to tell an outsider about her daughter's behaviour, but her concern was greater.

The call brings clarity, tips and help

The hotline employee listened to her, asked questions, reassured her. Of course, the change that had occurred in Büsra had to be taken seriously. There were indeed signs that the girl had turned to radical Islamist circles. Her mother's assessment had been correct.
The counsellor also encouraged Büsra's mother in her need to talk to her daughter. Even during the phone call, she gave her tips on how to deal with Büsra's sermons and her radical views. Any connection to Büsra was valuable, she said, in order to prevent further radicalisation – if she really was being radicalised – with the help of experts. The staff of the Advice Centre on Radicalisation advised Büsra's mother to contact her local counselling centre. They could help her assess whether and to what extent Büsra had become radicalised.
She gave her the address of a partner organisation that had already handled similar cases.
Today, the family is supported by experienced counsellors. Büsra has started to talk more with her parents again. She rarely speaks about the Holy War any more. The family is on a good track, the experts say.

*Büsra’s case is fictitious. We treat all the information of our callers as strictly confidential, so this is not a real case.